If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
