is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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