i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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