Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
