dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I think people are normalizing furries
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
