i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
