He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize