I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
