Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Randomize
