It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
