remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
