he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
