Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
