The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
