Nicole vs. Life
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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