did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
