I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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