my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
