...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
