im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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