i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
