i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
