Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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