your parents love me but you hate me
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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