I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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