just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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