this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
