So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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