The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
