Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize