After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
