Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
