so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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