She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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