It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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