Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
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