god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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