Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
