WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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