Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
