Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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