there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
