why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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