i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
