You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
