We're like a lot better than the average bears
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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