look no pants
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
