Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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