He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
