i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
