wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
