Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
