thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
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we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
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I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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