Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
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What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
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So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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