Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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