What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
