god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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