If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
