So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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