just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
