shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Randomize
