Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at about main and main street
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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