Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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